Stress in Life and What You Make of It

One of the hardest things in my life, has been facing the fact that we were losing our home. Yes, that is one of the ‘hardest things’, so in retrospect, I’m one lucky gal!

We were fortunate enough, to have been able to buy a small starter home – which in all honesty, could have been our ‘forever’ home but I will admit, I was itching for more room! With my girls being 10 years apart, it was hard having them share a room and with both my older daughter and son entering the teen years, one bathroom just didn’t seem like it was going to work. 

We ended up buying a much larger home in a very nice area and were happy that our kids were in a great school district. I’m going to fast forward and spare a lot of boring details but we did get in over our heads. It was at a time that it seemed like every bank was giving out home loans, whether you could afford it or not! Thankfully we were able to afford no problem — UNTIL …..my husbands business started taking a slow dive. And though it was slow….it was steady, but it really never resurfaced and got back to the place we needed it to be. All that to say, we asked for modifications to our loan but to no avail. Again, long story (and I mean 4-5 years of the fear of losing our home & battling to save it), we finally agreed it was time to ‘let it go’.

Throughout those years, my health suffered a bit. I had many sleepless nights, I wondered where we would live and if my youngest would be able attend the same school(s) and quite honestly, the thought of losing a home that we raised our kids in, made my heart ache! It wasn’t like it was a decision we made ….we were forced into that decision and it really hurt my heart.

So why this post? Here we sit – 2 years later, in a townhouse that we rent. Is it ideal? Nope. It’s really not in the best neighborhood but it’s in a gated community and our surrounding neighbors are great! We don’t have a yard. I LOVED sitting out in my back yard with coffee in the early mornings. Or hanging out on my lounge chair on summer afternoons. I loved when my hubby BBQ’d and the smell would carry into our home. Living in a neighborhood where I could just walk out into our front yard ….go for a run, take the dog for a walk and just have ‘space’ where I didn’t feel closed in, if you will. I loved having a home that didn’t have a connecting wall to another house. 

When we first moved into our townhouse, I was a little bitter. I had gotten over the fact that we didn’t “own” this place and that perhaps someday, we could buy again but I was bitter about not having my norm anymore. We share one wall with our neighbor, I have a small “porch”(no yard). We must park one of the cars out on the street where there’s absolutely no parking beyond 5pm each day. We rent it so I can’t do as I please in terms of painting rooms, changing out flooring etc and so on.

Here’s the thing. Within those 2 years, we had some sad losses in our family. One loss was very unexpected and it certainly changed my perspective on things! I was feeling sad about the loss of our home – what we had and now don’t …..and comparing what we don’t have now, to what used to be. With the sudden passing of my niece, I realized in just an instant how precious life can be and my “losses” were absolutely nothing in comparison to what others were experiencing in their own lives. My children are all healthy, happy and thriving. I have an amazing husband and great marriage! We are fortunate enough to have a home with plenty of room for my daughter and granddaughter to move in with us for a bit. While I don’t have a yard, I have an area big enough to have a bistro set, a BBQ and a handful of succulent plants to “dress it up”. My kitchen is waaaay bigger than my other house and it’s great to have a peninsula to have my hubby or girls’ hang out and chat with me while I’m doing my thing in the kitchen.  

Glass 1/2 full! That’s always been my motto and yet, I let that perspective diminish when I was going through the sale of our home. It was suddenly ‘glass 1/2 empty’ and honestly, looking at things in that way, put a damper on my health. It wasn’t a great mental state to be in. I should have just been thankful that I had a glass!

I was big into juicing then, I drank my bone broth faithfully and never gave into junk food to help “ease the pain” and yet, I still had to deal with things in my health that I hadn’t been dealing with in years – interrupted sleep/insomnia, digestion problems, headaches and irritability. I was grinding my teeth at night. I lost weight without changing anything in my diet or fitness routine. It was stress …..and my mindset and my negative perspective that took toll on my health and once I made the decision to turn my thoughts around and see the good in what I have and try not to look back and compare, positive changes happened within me! 

I share this story with you because I’m certain many of you might feel or have felt the same. I think it’s human to react the way I did. I’m the first one to say that if you feel it, it’s real but then there’s got to be a point where you make the decision to wallow in it or create your own path to deal with it and make the best out of any situation. For me, it helped tremendously to look at what I did have and how fortunate I truly am! It was then, that my sleep was great again ….I put the handful of pounds I lost, back on and no more digestive issues! It’s fascinating to me how our bodies react to stress. We can feed it all the good things but if we aren’t handling stress in a constructive way, our health will decline. 

I’m not perfect ….I still spout the words, ‘if only’ once in a while but I will say that I stop myself from the downward spiral and start appreciating every little thing in my life and what I do have! I am a fortunate person and I remember to tell myself that each and every morning – it sets the tone for my day! I encourage you to do the same. Something so simple as to jot down 3 things you are thankful for, each day, helps us to start our days on a positive note and I know from experience, it can really change things around. This morning, I am thankful for my whistling hubby, the sun shining through my window and the fan I hear from my granddaughters room – these things make me smile right now (ohhh…and the coffee next to me!). 

Perspective. It’s all in how you look at things. I choose to change the view, if the current view isn’t working for me ….I encourage you to do the same. I also challenge you to be thankful for what you do have in your life – no matter how small. Sometimes it’s the little things that bring us true joy!